01.22.07
Fear
An old poem from 8th grade that I recently found.
Style: Pyramid
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12.07.06
Ambivalence
12/7/06
- Ambivalence -
I feel this relationship getting stronger, but
I am dominated by this relationship.
I enjoy how your pressence is soothing, but
I hate your disrupting pressence.
I wish to voice my feelings for you, but
I need these feelings to go away.
I cannot risk what we have together, but
I know you are worth the risk.
I want to know your secrets, but
I know your secrets scare me.
I like when I dream about you, but
I hate how its only a dream.
I miss you always, but
I hate how I miss you.
I love you so much, but
I cannot love you.
I thought I made up my mind, but
I know I’m ambivalent.
10.18.06
That Time Of The Year… Again
Guess what, November is comming up quickly. This means two things.
1) The play. Jabberwok and Phillip Glass will be performed Nov. 3 and Nov. 4th at the high school.
2) Its almost National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) time. I realize last year there were many skeptics, and this really became apparent with one or two 1000 Blank Card cards. This year, however, I feel I am more prepared. I will work hard this week to get all of my school work back on track and plan out my novel a bit.
Flying by the seat of your pants writing is fun, but ultimately uneffective if you plan on seriously achieving 50k words in 30 days. I plan to outline my novel in the comming weeks using the snowflake method (thanks to whoever posted the link in the Iowa regional forum).
If anyone is interested in this, let me know. It is fun and you will learn a lot. And you may even end up with a novel to sell!
On a more personal note, I realized after logging in to my old account that my mother was listed as one of my writer buddies. She never wrote much for NaNo, but she was extremely charged about it. Back before I ever moved to CF I wanted to be a writer and she encouraged me to do so, and when NaNoWriMo popped up she seemed incredibly happy about it. This year I’ll reach my 50k words, for her if nothing else.
06.01.06
Midnight Walk
Off in the darkness I walked alone.
I listened intently to The Sound of Silence,
Hoping for a call on the cell
To end the lonely walk,
And save me from my myself.
My mind wandered to memories
Of recent walks and discussions.
Some humorous… (an illusion lumberjack mech suit tree pop machine is me!)
Some serious… (what will happen now?)
Some interesting and fun… (“I really like that house!”)
I toiled in my mind for three miles,
Walking through the mist of sprinklers.
Finally my mind was clear like the night sky.
Feelings have, at last, been shoved aside,
Taking a back seat to life.
It was beautiful night.
11.29.05
NaNoWriMo 2005
With one day left I’m sitting at 20k words (ish). No way in hell I can finish. ::sigh::
Next year I will participate again and (hopefully) be better prepared.
11.14.05
Creative Writing – Poetry Activity
Today in Creative Writing we did perhaps one of the best writing activities (in my opinion). He gave us two topics (which most people combined, actually) and we did a free write. For the unknowing, a free write is a period of writing where you list every thought that comes to your mind about the topic (unless there is no topic) for a period of time. You don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, format or anything. You just get them down on paper (er… screen).
After the free write, we seperated it and used words we wrote to make up some poem. Since this was a free write, no ones poem rhymed, and it was basically all free verse. I was one of six people to get more than a page for both the poem and free write (in reality, I got three for the poem, the free write is up in the air (my computer at school sucks!)).
The topic I picked was “I remember”. I use the phrase a few times in the poem, and it appears in the title itself. Overall, I made very very few changes to my words, just like Mr. Wilkinson said. I cut out a few irrelevant sentences and bam, there, with formatting, punctuaion and various breaks, was a free verse poem I never could have written any other way. Quite amazing.
You may or may not like it, but I found it to be an eye opener for myself. It raises some good questions, and every word on the page flowed from my thoughts over the period of eight minutes. Crazy.
The poem can be found here: http://www.nick-cash.com/wp/2005/11/14/i-remember-long-ago/
I remember long ago
This poem was based off an 8 minute free write, using our own thoughts on the topic “I remember” to then create a poem.
— I Remember Long Ago —
I remember long ago,
When life was so simple.
No job or worries, no real responsibility.
Nothing to do but be a kid.
Nothing to do but be me.
Then, of course, life got more complicated.
Now I must work for the things I want.
I need to make my own money, and I need to worry about college.
Being the third of three kids, I’m told that I have it easy.
However, it has never seemed that way.
Life is just one big mess of problems, prying for a solution.
And yet, there is none.
No one knows the answer.
How can they?
Most don’t even know the question.
Lately I’ve been alright,
Better than I can remember over the last few years.
And yet, the people around me are all full of strife.
They worry of the pointless things in life that don’t matter.
Why, if we have only a short century or less on this planet, do they waste their efforts?
Don’t they want to be remembered?
They have no idea what they are doing besides acting upon feelings for the short term
And all of their ignorance is quite disgusting to me.
Some days I wish I could just get up and move away,
Get away from the annoying humanity of this planet.
College has been a bit better than high school,
But overall I find in general I really don’t like humans.
Our thought processes are so selfish and not open to understanding.
Why should a kid fear telling his parents the truth?
Why should anyone not be able to speak their minds because they fear retribution?
Why?
Why is the best question of all time.
And yet it is one of many questions that no one can answer.
Life is mystery.
It is an enigma,
And no one has any idea to its identity.
Of course, people always wonder…
What is the meaning of life?
Why are we here?
Who made us?
Is there a God,
Or are we part of some strange cosmic coincidence?
One can only wonder.
One can only dream.
I remember long ago when I did not think of such things.
I think I may have been happier then.
Life is just so easy when you are young.
I remember those days.
11.02.05
Decision
After a not-so-brief personal consultation for over a month, I’ve decided to scrap my previous story idea in favor of the real NaNo writing: by the seat of your pants.
All I know is that I don’t want to know whats going on, or where it is going. I want it to be as much like reading and finding out for myself as writing it. My last idea is really structured (in some parts, on story line per se). It would make a good book, but I don’t think it will be as much fun.
So, now I’m down 4 pages….so, er, I need 12. Damn. Better get scootin.
Toodles.