07.23.10

Inception

Posted in General at 9:54 pm by Nick

This movie is fantastic for the intelligent movie goers. Quality acting, good effects, and an interesting story line. Whats more, in the context of the movie it actually makes sense! I highly recommend you see it.

Still, as an experienced creator of virtual worlds, the psychology presented in this movie was quite interesting…

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05.20.10

Start With Why

Posted in General at 4:59 pm by Nick

Simon Sinek talks about how great leaders inspire action. His ideas resonated with me, and it culminated in a post I have desired to write for quite some time.


Note: This is a long post because it is essentially two posts in one.

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03.25.10

This Is Impossible… Only If You Believe It Is

Posted in General at 7:43 pm by Nick

A few weekends back I went to see Alice in Wonderland with my two brothers. Obviously this is an unconventional movie choice for three guys, but there were few movies playing we are Tim Burton fans. Anyways, I think there is a valuable lesson to be learned from this movie.

(It appears they disabled embedding. Just click through to YouTube to watch the trailer!)

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12.06.09

The Speed of Flash Drives

Posted in General, Reviews at 6:05 pm by Nick

When buying my new graphics card I received a free 4GB flash drive. I didn’t realize this when I bought the product, but I was excited as you can never have too many flash drives! However, as I read its reviews I heard a great many complaints of it being slow. This made me wonder just how fast it would be, and how it compared to my other flash drives.

I was fortunate enough to be one of the first people to jump on the flash drive bandwagon. I bought (well, my mother bought) my first flash drive, a massive 128MB for over $120. That is a joke now days of course — you can obtain giant flash drives cheaply, and people routinely hand out “small” 4GB drives for free. And, as long as you plug them in once every twenty or so years they’ll retain their data!

Here I will detail the analysis of the flash drives I currently own, from my oldest, original 128 MB PNY flash to the newest free OCZ drive I have received.

In the order they were acquired, here is make / capacity (note that my original drive is the largest physically, even compared to the 16GB drive):

- 128MB PNY Attache (bought around mid 2004 or early 2005. It came with a Windows 98/ME drivers disc that I carry in my backpack to this day)

- 128 MB UNI ROTC – Special drive received from the department when I was in high school

- 2GB SanDisk Cruzer Micro – My first flash drive in many years. 2GB seems like a lot when you are used to 128MB!

- 16GB Kingston Data Traveler – Received from Distek, my employer, as Christmas gift in 2008.

- 4GB OCZ Diesel – Received as a free addon by NewEgg for buying two video cards.

I will test using CrystalDiskMark 2.2 using a USB 2.0 port doing sequential reads and writes:

Drive Filesystem Read (MB/s) Write (MB/s)
PNY 128MB FAT 4.858 4.172
ROTC 128MB FAT 10.71 4.891
SanDisk Cruzer 2GB FAT32 30.51 8.950
Kingston Data Traveler 16GB FAT32 22.17 14.11
OCZ Diesel 4GB FAT32 17.84 6.498

The conclusions are quite interesting. In comparison to similar technology, the OCZ diesel is indeed slow. There are many drives that function much faster then the ones listed here, though these are some of the more common drives.

It is interesting to me that write speeds increased dramatically, but now seem to wax and wane depending on what you buy. I also find it interesting that there was no clear winner here. The Kingston drive would be the obvious choice with good read speeds and the best write speeds, as well as superior capacity. However, the Sandisk drive has superior read speeds by a fair amount, and at 2GB will hold most anything I would want to carry around. I suppose these will be my primary drives depending on what I am trying to do.

As for the free OCZ Diesel… well, I think it is time to test ReadyBoost with all 4GB of it :)

12.04.09

Triple Monitors — A Little Hassle

Posted in General at 10:50 pm by Nick

After programming heavily for my Software Engineering project, I determined that I could make extensive use of a third monitor. I came to this conclusion after having spent many long nights in front of my screens, endlessly resizing windows so that I could view what I would like to see, as well as view the chat with my teammates. I generally ended up with at least three SSH sessions open, and while I am aware there are many ways to quickly switch between windows on a command line (screen, buffers, and the like), the whole problem was switching at all. I was tasked with writing the search part of our system, which turned out to be interesting and a lot of fun. However, I was most productive when I was able to sit at the MySQL prompt and run test queries while writing the search code itself. I also needed another window or two to do general things without removing focus from my other two windows, and, for anyone who knows me well, I -ALWAYS- like to watch the performance of my computer so I generally had a session simply running htop.

After running my server for 20+ days, I shut down everything to go on Thanksgiving break. When I finally returned home, my server would not boot. Having gone through this before, I checked the RAM immediately, as it was an old high performance stick that saw heavy use in my desktop before being retired. The stick was at fault, and so my server was dead until I could buy new RAM. My graphics card was the only thing in my desktop that had not been upgraded in a while (two years or so), but I wasn’t going to bother ordering something until I actually needed parts. Now I had to order something, so I looked for new graphic cards! The desktop was running an ATI Radeon X1950 Pro, and with the graphic card industry being the way it is, it had now moved into legacy status and there were much better cards to be had. So I decided that if I needed RAM for my server I would also throw in my new monitor and grab a new video card (an ATI Radeon HD 5770 from Sapphire).

Already annoyed with the RAM blown and having to gimp my desktop (took 1GB and threw it into the server for the time being) while being embroiled in coding, I eagerly awaited my parts. However, 15 minutes after placing the order for my monitor (a 22″ 5ms Acer, similar to my other two 20″ monitors), a sale on Newegg began for a similar monitor that had a better contrast ratio for ~$20 less. Thinking there was no way they could have processed my order in 20 minutes, I went to cancel. My request was denied. I tried again. Request denied. After further inquiry, it seemed that the monitor I ordered just 20 minutes earlier had hit their shipping lines! Instead of being disgruntled I merely canceled the order for the other monitor and decided I would be content with fast shipping of the pricier, slightly less capable monitor. In the mean time, my other order (video card and RAM) did NOT ship until Wednesday, the day I received the monitor I had ordered two days later than the parts. Newegg, recognizing their shipping hold up, decided to 2-day air ship the parts to me so I could get them today (12/4/2009).

Having done my research ahead of time (and thus, part of my reason for writing this blog post as that research was hard to find), I knew that my ATI Radeon X1950 Pro legacy card would very likely conflict with my new ATI Radeon HD 5770 under Windows 7, despite being workable under Windows XP. Now, after two hours of trial and error, I have found that you indeed cannot mix a legacy card with a newer card simply because it is no longer supported by Catalyst Control Center, which is needed to govern multiple ATI cards. So, it seems, ~$330 later, I simply have two more inches of screen space and an extra monitor on my desk, waiting to be used. The question now is do I buy a second graphics card or find an alternative? Having come this far, I’m inclined to say the second graphics card is the way to go. This is also after some research which led me to some interesting devices, but all for more then $160, which is about what another graphics card will cost me.

So, to recap for anyone searching:

If you want to use three monitors with your computer, the easiest and most reliable way to do so is with three DVI connections. In that regard, you will want two graphic cards, with at least one of them having two DVI/D-Sub outs. For maximum reliability and compatibility, and the ability to CrossFire or SLI later, try using two of the same card. If you have an older card that is no longer supported by ATI, you cannot mix it with a new card on Windows 7 due to driver conflicts (this has to do with the way Windows 7 pulls and uses legacy drivers). However, you should be able to use a newer card (that is, any card not in legacy status) with a brand new card (say, mixing a 4000 series and 5000 series) and have it work just fine.

Another question remains: If you have two cards and Crossfire them, can you support three monitors? I was curious about this too, but according to ATI only two monitors are supported with CrossFire at this time, although this link seems to say up to five can be supported. I should note I’m not much of a gamer or performance chaser. Instead, I chase my own productivity, and it so happens that multiple mid-range graphics cards seem to be the answer!

A word on ATI Radeon HD 5770 Performance:

While I do not have hard benchmark numbers, it is quite clear after a few minutes of use that this card is a big advance over my Radeon X1950 Pro. It had double the memory (1GB v. 512MB) and it is faster (GDDR5 v. GDDR3). It has a much higher clock speed (850Mhz v. 600 Mhz) and a much larger number of graphics pipelines (800 v 600). I was concerned about heat (which any good system builder should be), so I watched in CCC as I ran the Windows 7 benchmark program. As the test chugged away, I watched the GPU get red-lined for a bit and the fan never went above 33% (great for noise), and the temperature never went above 50C. I suppose the question now is how hot will two of them get in my case? They will be quite close to eachother, and the top one will receive little air flow, so I am concerned. However, my temperatures are something I monitor quite heavily (I’ll probably write about that eventually), so hopefully it won’t be a problem

I spent some time yesterday playing Team Fortress 2 to test out the card a bit (I don’t play many games, so it is the most intensive one I have). I jacked up all of the settings to max, including Anti-Aliasing 8x and Ansiotropic Filtering 16x. The card ran like a champ — it never really broke a sweat, leaving its fan at 33% and never going above 55C while maintaining over 60fps, usually much more (100+).

For the curious, Windows 7 rates my system thus (scale ranging from 1.0 to 7.9):

Processor (C2D Q6600) – 7.1
RAM (4GB 800Mhz 4-4-4-12 GSKILL) – 7.1
Graphics (Radeon HD 5770) – 7.3 (up from 6.0)
Gaming graphics – 7.3 (up from 6.0)
Primary hard disk (WD Caviar Black 7200 RPM 500GB): 5.9

Thus, my base score is 5.9, with my disk drives being the only item under 7. This is a little curious to me as both of the drives are quite new and feature dual processors each with access to its own 16MB buffer. That said, I run the two drives in RAID1 using my motherboards fakeraid, so it isn’t surprising there is a performance hit here. All of that said, my desktop is considered extremely high end, and thus I will not need any more updates until I build a completely new rig in a few years. Until then, I look forward to testing triple monitors and another new 5770.

In the mean time, I’ll settle for my Linux box getting it’s own monitor:

2 + 1 != 3

09.27.09

Amature Philosophy

Posted in General, Thoughts at 5:46 pm by Nick

Unlike most students, I enjoy the general education I am required to take at my university. This is because I am interested just about everything; I simply cannot have too much knowledge. This semester I am enrolled in one class I have been looking forward to for four years: Philosophy, The Art of Thinking.

I think given different circumstances I would do very well in the Philosophy program and would like having a degree in the field. The ideas behind philosophy fit well with my life — not just to question what we don’t know, but analyze and question what we do know. Is something right or wrong? I like to play devil’s advocate and just think about things from different viewpoints because I find it interesting and fascinating. Mental challenges like this can broaden your view and creativity, which is an absolute must in the world we live in today.

My friend John has recently switched his major from Computer Science to Philosophy and is discovering how interesting and joyous the field itself can be. While I cannot pick it up as a major, the things he is going over are things I have discussed and thought about my entire life. It is interesting to me that so many people are willing to accept the world as it is and not analyze and question it. I suppose there is comfort in not knowing and not caring, but not knowing and caring can be frustrating and create an immense craving for knowledge and understanding.

As of late, it seems that questions and thoughts out of the norm have piled up around me to dissect and analyze. Below is a brief glimpse of some of them merely because I have spent time just thinking about them and I wish to save the ideas some place for later analysis.

The first came to me after following a random train of thought that led me back to one of my favorite movies of all time: Meet Joe Black. (Please, if you have not seen this movie and wish to then do not read this!) While there are many things I could say about this movie, there is only one I wish to address.

Brad Pitt plays a salesman that “Death” kills and takes over his body to have a physical presence in order to examine the excellence of Bill Perish’s life. It is true that every civilization has always had some sort of myth surrounding the grim reaper — a physical manifestation of death, which this movie builds upon. However, in my view and many others, I have always thought of “Death” only as the taker of life. That is to say, he may take life from people but he may not give it. Now you could argue that since he gives Perish more time to carry on his life then he is, in a sense, bestowing more life to Perish. On the other hand, I view this more as bestowing time existing life, not creating new life itself. This is an important distinction. Ultimately this brings me to what I consider the most moving (and in my mind, controversial) part of the movie. In the end, Perish and Death walk off during the fireworks, returning to the abyss where Death resides. A minute later, as Perish’s daughter Susan (actress Claire Forlani) comes seeking them, Brad Pitt then comes back over the hill. The salesmen is back into his body — revived from death. This is controversial because, in this movie, Death can not only take life but also bestow it. This then changes who Joe Black really is; he is not the grim reaper or death, but must actually be God. This has a large impact on the rest of the movie because we can then see that God is not a benevolent and caring being, but is instead an indifferent enforcer of rules who is curious (and ultimately jealous) of what humans have. This view changes the entire tone of the movie.

Another thought was brought up while watching the end of an episode of Ergo Proxy, which Dan began rewatching lately. The episodes all end with notes explaining some of the references brought up in the previous episode. During this one in particular, Vincent and Pino become lost in a fog and Vincent enters what he believes to be a book store, but is more or less a place to visit and analyze memories. This is important because Vincent’s memory has been intentionally erased, and it is the first real step in him realizing and accepting that he is indeed a Proxy.

What I found interesting was more or less the note at the end which is briefly touched on in the episode — a reference to The Origin of Languages by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. The interesting thought is a paradox: in order to develop language, beings must be able to think, but in order to be able to think beings must have language.

This is actually a concept that several of my friends and I have talked about for years in the context of some of the games we used to play when we were world builders. Wade described something he read where a race of people did not know what love was because they did not have a word for it. Culturally, they were loveless. How can someone love without knowing what love is? Obviously this breaks down somewhere, because every day we create new words and things in this life of ours. Granted, we have an advantage in that we have a vibrant and growing vocabulary on which we build. If such a foundation did not exist, imagine how different life would be. How fortunate we are to not have to endure the pain of existence without language.

08.17.09

Gearing Up

Posted in General at 1:56 am by Nick

Why hello there, it has been a long time!

The start of school is just around the bend, and my life has been buzzing as things start to pick up again. In preparation for school I have found myself gearing up in several ways to make sure it is a successful semester:

Despite my normal frugality, money has been flowing quite steadily as I pursue quality and success in my life. Back on January, this meant buying a new car so I could avoid paying ~$2000 a year to fix a ~$3000 old luxury car. And I do mean new, as in 2009 Jeep Compass new. I have been absolutely happy and satisfied with my decision and find it quite enjoyable to drive, so I consider it a success. However, I must admit that if I knew my CS scholarship was going to vanish I would have forgone the car and used that money for debt and tuition payment instead. On the other hand, driving a car backed with a warranty and knowing each and every mile put on it was by me is a very, very good feeling. I used to think new vehicles were a huge waste of money due to depreciation, but I realize now that if it helps put your mind at ease (as it does for me) then it is money well spent, especially if you keep it for a long time as I plan to do.

My brother and several friends started buying computer equipment from NewEgg, so of course I ended up joining the trend. When our school received Win7 RTM copies and keys, I couldn’t help but throw it on my laptop and see how it ran. Considering it is still unreleased to the public, I am incredibly amazed with it’s state and the amount of polish. And, as XP starts to show its age in size and performance, and I became increasingly dissatisfied with my computer’s setup (two 37GB 10k RPM drives holding XP/Steam games, and then a larger 160GB drive holding programs and other bloat) I decided to bite the bullet and reorganize with Win7. I decided to get two new 500GB drives and put them in RAID 1 via fakeraid on my motherboard. This left me with enough spare parts to only require a case, power supply, and motherboard to build a cheapo computer, so I jumped at the chance to finally have a dedicated Linux machine (more on it’s intended use another time) at the cost of $130 or so. I ended up buying new hard drives, more RAM for my desktop, more RAM for my laptop, an external hard drive enclosure, a KVM switch to switch between my two desktop computers, and more. As I spent a night or two piecing everything together, I was reminded of just how much I really enjoy putting things together. It was a very fun and satisfying experience. Sadly, I have no plans to do any more computer hardware flip-flops or buying in the near future.

To prepare more for this school year (and fill a void of wall space near my window), I bought a brand new wooden desk from Target.com. It is quite stylish, well priced, was easy to put together, and seems pretty sturdy. The theory is if I have a dedicated homework space I will be more productive. We’ll see how that goes. It is a problem I’ve “solved” before, but I ended up switching from my old desk to the desk I bought for homework only as a computer platform to facilitate more monitors.

A month or two ago, I also decided to become a legitimate Pandora.com customer. While 40 hours a month is a lot of free music, I find myself listening to Pandora at home and at work (meaning I blow that in a week easily). I figure $36/year is fairly cheap compared to what many people pay for music, and I am quite satisfied by the service and use it regularly.

After a near eight-month break from the game, my brother and I have reactivated our World of Warcraft accounts. This came about only because I have found many of my coworkers play together, and the only reason Dan and I quit in the first place was because we had no one to play with. So, in league with the title of this post, we spent this weekend playing like the good old days: gearing up with heroics. I imagine with limited playing the game will stay fun for quite a while, though I have started my payment cycle on a monthly basis just in-case it starts to conflict with schedule.

#include “std_blog_apology” // Clever, eh? :P

I spend an ample amount of my day thinking and analyzing everything. Current events, health, exercise, programming, school, work, food, games, cleaning, economics. My brain is constantly crunching the angles, and when I stumble upon something I find interesting and wish to explore more it makes it into my draft post called “Topics to Blog About”. As summer quickly comes to an end and my list of things to write about is in the dozens, I figure it is time to start making this whole blogging thing a bit more routine like it used to be. Even if there happened to be few, if any readers, I often find myself coming back to the pages of this blog to reread my analysis of topics and refer to whatever started the post in the first place. Plus, it is a convenient place to store information I use on occasion (such as the hardware information for my computers) or would like to give out to people (gift list).

Given a new schedule that will free up more time for stuff like this, I hope to be posting more. Lets see if I can keep that promise!

05.05.09

Choices

Posted in General at 1:25 am by Nick

Tonight was an interesting one. As 10pm rolled around I began to yawn and realized if I didn’t go running now it wasn’t going to happen tonight. I got up, dressed in my running attire, told Dan not to lock the door and embarked on what would prove to be one of the more challenging runs I’ve faced.

Things started off well. I listen to the Couch to 5k podcasts and use them to follow the running program outlined at this site. I pulled up the podcast and walked briskly trying to loosen up, and perhaps wake up as well. I felt good and decided to run what I considered a medium intensity route near my apartment. As I progressed and began my first running interval, the cool night wind rushing over my face and through my hair, I realized that yesterday I had made one very awful choice.

You see, Dan, John, Danny, and I have all been playing racquetball every Sunday and Wednesday night. This is great fun and extremely good exercise. I have enjoyed the camaraderie and variety it adds to my week in many ways. Best of all, it forces me to use muscles that are not used during other exercises. This has led to a lot of mild leg soreness to which I am not accustomed, though I relish it to a certain extent. It is in this that the awful choice was made. Due to our tight schedule and my lack of attention I did not stretch fully before playing, and I did not stretch at all afterward.

I am not sure about other seasoned runners, but this is something I know to be true of myself. With stretches before and after and warm-up and cooldown walks I rarely, if ever, have leg pain during or after running (granted I currently run small distances, 2-3 miles). However, due to my decision (or lack thereof) last night to avoid stretching I endured very agonizing tightness and calf pain during my run, as well as some pain in my knees.

Calf pain turns what is one of my more enjoyable forms of exercise into an absolute chore. I choose to run; if it hurts, I either give up or I run with pain. After the first interval was done I told myself giving up because of a little leg pain wasn’t an option, and the calf pain would likely work itself out. The second interval came and went, only this time I was running uphill (and would be for the next four intervals). Nothing changed. Each and every step started to hurt. Even walks between intervals became painful.

And so it came to another choice. No one was making me run, and obviously enduring pain is not enjoyable. I could quit if I wanted; no one would fault me. It was then I recalled something my mother once talked to me about. On a ride across town we talked about achieving a bad grade (to which I said was absolutely unacceptable) and she replied that it was acceptable, and even likely over the course of an academic career. No one is perfect and neither are their grades. But, as she aptly pointed out, I was my harshest critic. No one is going to reprimand me in any way that is more meaningful then the choices and actions I can and will inflict upon myself to solve certain problems and achieve certain results.

My mind began to wander back to my training days for Army ROTC and the emotional hardening I have sustained over the past several years. I remembered how hard I pushed when I was in ROTC. I remembered that with each step, and the pain that came with it, I was one step closer to a glorious victory walk home (as opposed to a quiet, self-loathing walk of defeat). I remembered how, when pushing, physical pain was really just an inconvenience and nothing more. My pace quickened. My strides grew longer. Each new step brought pain, but I only pushed more. Pain can be overcome. It can be conquered. I continued to run; I stopped counting the intervals. Built up angst was combined with explosive determination as I let my mind analyze more pressing issues then the pain I was experiencing in my in my calf. My mind became unaware of the pain and the duration of the run, instead embarking on its own interesting adventure into the metaphysical realm.

The choice to not only continue, but to continue with a redoubled effort is a theme of my life. Constantly I have believed there is nothing I can’t do; if I fail I must merely try harder. Bringing that mentality to things is almost always helpful (although it can certainly be a hindrance sometimes). My progress is not always visible to others, nor is it visible in my academics currently. However, I am amazed with the progress I have made in recent months. And it is that amazement that I value so highly, because such praise does not come easy.

As I walked back home after the run, completing the entire medium intensity circuit despite the pain, I was overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment. As I often do on, I thought back to a mere year or two ago. I always feel like I was just a kid back then. If only I knew then what I know now. Every year my ambition grows with my determination, my resolution is constantly refined and my goals become absolute. I have stopped dreaming and worrying about independent events, but have instead assembled the larger picture into a future I enjoy thinking about and a life I enjoy living.

I realized this was my zen; this was my nirvana. For a brief time, I was at peace. In that moment I was invincible. The world was mine for the taking; nothing was unachievable. The ambition was rivaled only by content and happiness. I am happy with where I am and who I am. Things aren’t perfect, but the things I want answers to are answered. Ambiguities have been resolved and the things I wanted plans for have been planned. The questions that remain are simple ones that my mind can toy with or ignore. I am comfortable with these unanswered questions, and interested in watching some of them evolve.

The choices we make are not always easy or correct, but determination and perseverance will always lead to progress in one way or another. Sometimes, you just need to go for it.

What a ride this life is.

04.06.09

Winter – Part 2, Life

Posted in General at 1:05 am by Nick

I would say it isn’t typical to get snow in April, but we did indeed get snow about this time last year. I remember well as the snow came down on my birthday (April 12th) which is now just around the bend. That said, it was kind of fun to have a blizzard today. It gave me a reason to putz around and be a little lazy.

After many intense weeks of “GO GO GO” action it has been great recently to take some time to reflect on things. I’ve noted that this a part of my personality I should be devoting more time to and I will continue to do so. After doing the StengthsFinder survey at work and doing another personality test (INFJ) I’ve adopted a few ways that help me keep myself in top mental shape. Giving new information time to sink into my brain and allowing my brain to analyze information has proven to be of great benefit. I’ve known this in the past, but I never really thought about taking time for myself. I’ve experienced a huge mental shift over the past few months from worry about everything and everyone to just worrying about myself. I’m not of much help to anyone if I’m tired, depressed, stressed out, or unhealthly. Thus, I’ve realized the best way to help other people is to help myself first.

Ever since winter break (the last post) I have had a good routine. I go to bed on time (a little off tonight! :P ) and get a full nights rest. I wake up feeling energetic and refreshed. It is no longer incredibly hard to climb out of bed. I used to live every day with a huge mental fog weighing me down, complicating and degrading my life. By simplifying my life and removing stress I have lifted the fog, and now I am able to function (perhaps with excess energy most days) from early morning to late at night, in which I’m quite tired at a reasonable hour and able to sleep pretty well. I’ve never felt more productive.

I can honestly say this is the best I’ve felt in years. Due to the new Wellness Program at work I am super charged about being a healthier individual, and I already know all of the benefits that come with it. It boggles my mind that this feeling of well being will get even better! I’m incredibly determined and I don’t mind the work it takes to lose weight (in fact, I revel in it), so I’m excited to continue building it into my schedule. There is enough time in the program to perhaps even prepare for a 10k which as interesting thought.

Anywho, I will work on updating this a bit more. I have a lot of things I would love to write about, so hopefully I can get my blogging back into gear.

12.22.08

Winter

Posted in General at 3:23 am by Nick

Snow! It arrived pretty suddenly, and what a ride this winter has already been! It was fun being snowed in and just chilling for a few days. Granted, snow blowing in -8 degrees (-35 with windchill) wasn’t much fun, but it was also nice to be outside enjoying the snow.

These past few weeks have been incredible. Doing work and school was causing enough stress to make me want to pull my hair out. I took time off of work for finals and school resolved itself, and I’ve been having a fantastic time just living a bit. Catching up with friends, eating food, being out and about. It has worked wonders for my mental state. I’m not quite sure what things will be like when I resume the stress of things when break is over, but luckily that isn’t for a few weeks. I was surprised that with the heavy reduction in stress I actually returned to a state of happiness. Sure, I’m a bit worried about finances of next semeser and what my GPA will look like after last semester, but as Paul would say, “it is what it is.” Stressing about these things won’t change them, so I might as well as relax and focus my efforts on a better future. A big boost in morale came from monster.com too when I found that many companies were calling me and what not for interviews even though I don’t have a degree, which makes me feel better about my chances if school does fall through.

I’m still deciding what should be done. I don’t know if I can do a full time co-op next semester, but if I can’t I think I will be taking the semester off from work. I think I’ll be able to do well in school if I don’t have to work so much, but I really can’t take time off of work unless something changes financially. My brother will be moving here, so my financial burden may be less stressful and thus I may actually be able to swing not working, but it remains to be seen how much financial support I’ll get next semester.

But, for the time being, I’m just going to ride this emotional high and hope it lasts until the end of break.

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